COME SEE MY NEW PLAY!

As -K might say: "iwriteplays actually wrote a play!" Here's the deets:

Come see the world premiere of my new play, "Beneath Her Feet" (co-written by Jason Matthews). It's about living and working and loving in Los Angeles, and it's sure to be a good time.

April 3-5, 10-12, 17-19, 2009. Fridays and Saturdays at 8pm, Sundays at 2pm. 4735 Lankershim Blvd, 91602.

It's a 3-week run, so there are 9 -- count 'em: 9! -- chances to come see the play!

Tickets are only $10! Make your reservations today -- don't miss out! Exclamation points!!!
http://www.abovethecurvetheatre.com/reservations.php

Can't wait to see you there!

EAT SWEETS, END HUNGER

Wise Pico and the Man readers already know that Scoops is the best ice cream shop in the world. And now, we have yet another reason to love Scoops: they're hosting a charity bake sale this Saturday.



The folks at no cookie left behind not only have a hilariously awesome name but are also nice, charitable people. They're raising money for the Great American Bake Sale, organized by Share Our Strength, to help end hunger in America.

So head over to Scoops on Saturday, June 28, between noon and 4pm to help end hunger for more than 12.6 million children nationwide!

iPHONE TOUR OF THE SIMPSONS RIDE

Last week, I celebrated my birthday by going on the brand-new The Simpsons-themed ride at Universal Studios, Hollywood. I had my iPhone with me, so I took a few pictures. I'm a bit distracted by this thing my boss likes to call "work," so this is just going to be a quick-and-dirty review—don't expect Shakespeare.



Here's the entrance to the ride. Being a huge The Simpsons nerd, I found the whole environment a bit too good to be true.



While you wait in line, they play clips from the show (most notably, from the episode "Itchy & Scratchy Land") mixed in with new cartoons designed for the ride. One of the new bits features Cletus the slack-jawed yokel and his posse of children explaining how they cut costs at amusement parks by sneaking in food molded to look like "extra youngin's." (It's funnier in person.)





Once you get through the maze and actually get inside the building, the waiting areas are designed to be a "midway" featuring Patty, Selma, Apu, Willy, and (my personal favorite) Hans Moleman.



They have advertisements for Krustyland rides and attractions rotating on screens throughout the midway. My favorite was for "The Hall of Secretaries of the Interior" (clearly a spoof on the "Hall of Presidents" at Disney World), which advertised a waiting time of "0 minutes!"

After the midway, you get ushered eight at a time to a holding room where Itchy & Scratchy explain the safety rules of the ride (wherein Scratchy gets multiple limbs severed) and you learn the premise of the ride... no spoilers here, but it involves Sideshow Bob.

Park rules mandated that I couldn't take any pictures during the ride itself (not that I'd want to risk dropping my precious iPhone during the ride), but I will say that it's pretty awesome. It's one of those "simulated motion" rides where you're in a car that moves, while the action is projected onto an 80-foot screen in front of you. The ride was only mildly nauseating, and if you do start feeling ill you can always close your eyes. It's also a multisensory experience: depending on what's going on in the ride, you get sprinkled with water and get exposed to different scents. The writers for the ride did a good job making it funny (and full of Simpsons in-jokes), which should make it worth riding more than once.



At the end of the ride, you can even get autographs with the Simpson family!

WHY GOOGLE MAPS RULES MY WORLD

Let's say you get into a heated debate about where to find the best ice cream in Los Angeles. You think Scoops is the most delicious ice cream in not just L.A., but the whole wide world. Your misinformed friend, however, thinks Diddy Riese is superior because you can get an ice cream sandwich for a buck-fifty. As your argument over the relative merits of brown bread ice cream versus two freshly-baked cookies becomes more heated, you decide the only way to resolve this debate is to jump in the car and sample both varieties for yourself.

Right now, at 5:15pm on a Wednesday, this is what your trip would look like:



Not so pretty. The 405 and the 110 will make you want to cry, and then you'll be in a bad mood for ice cream.

Now this is why Google Maps is awesome for an Angeleno. They've added a function where you can check average traffic conditions for any day of the week, between the hours of 5 AM and 9 PM. This way you can find an optimal time to go on your ice cream adventure:







I'd choose Tuesday at lunchtime, wouldn't you?

This new function is perfectly designed for the traffic-addled residents of Los Angeles. Bravo, Google. Bravo.

P.S. The aforementioned ice cream debate is clearly fictional, as everyone knows that Scoops has the best ice cream on the planet.

BORROWERS UNITE!

Photo by Seth Gaines

Have you heard the shocking news, fellow Angelenos? The L.A. Public Library is strapped for cash. No, that's not the shocking part. The bombshell is that LAPL is planning to charge $1 for all inter-branch loans starting July 1st.

One dollar isn't all that much money, you say. Why shouldn't you pay for such a great service, you ask? The truth is that one dollar is prohibitively expensive for many Angelenos, especially school children and their families. Save The LA Public Library, the grass-roots group dedicated to stopping this fee from being introduced, puts it best:

Imagine children having to ask their parents' permission to order books they desperately want to read, and being told they can't request them, because gas prices are higher this week, or the rent has gone up, or mom has been laid off. Imagine a gifted student at a poorly performing high school unable to get books from the Advanced Placement reading list they need to get themselves caught up with their peers in private prep schools. Imagine elderly people having to give up a lifetime habit of reading because they've exhausted the selection of large print books in their local branch. All of these sad imaginings could become reality on July 1st, unless you speak up now and help Save LAPL.

Photo by library mistress

Are you crying yet? The part about the elderly people not being able to read kills me. I could be that elderly person one day, and I need books to survive. I really do. LAPL, please don't take away my books!

So, what can you do to stop this from happening? Go to savelapl.org to find out how to add your voice to the uproar!

(News via Chicken Corner.)

HOW TO SAVE THE PLANET, FEEL MORALLY SUPERIOR, AND GET SOME EXTRA READING DONE

Photo by Thomas Hawk.

This morning I did something completely ordinary and mundane that somehow made me feel special and unique: I took public transportation to work.

Now, in most major urban centers, taking the bus or train to work is common practice. Los Angeles is not like most major cities. Most people have their own cars, so public transportation is generally relegated to the license-less. There's even a stigma associated with riding the bus. When I mentioned to some co-workers that I was considering taking the bus and subway to work, the most common response was "why in the world would you want to do that?"

REASON #1 - MONEY: As I filled up my gas tank for $3.70/gallon yesterday, I was reminded just how expensive it is to drive these days. The average price of regular gas in L.A. today is $3.78. That's up from $3.30 a year ago, and 17 cents more than just a month ago. My commute is 17.2 miles round trip, and even though my little Honda Civic gets anywhere from 28-35 miles/gallon, my gas costs per day are at least $2.25. Add in car maintenance and insurance, and the driving cost per day is anywhere from $6.15 to $14.75 (see AAA's 2008 driving costs). An unlimited day pass for the L.A. Metro is $5. A monthly pass is $62. You do the math.


Photo by vgm8383.

REASON #2 - CONVENIENCE: My bus stop is less than a half-block from my apartment.The Universal City Metro stop (red line) is actually closer to my office than the garage I'm required to park in. How's that for irony? Taking the Metro actually requires less walking than driving myself. It only took 25 minutes to get from point to point, which is slightly longer than my morning commute usually takes, but significantly less than the hour or more I spend driving myself home.

REASON #3 - FEELING SUPERIOR: Wanna get in good with Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio? Going green is all the rage these days, haven't you heard? While I'm still holding out to spot Leo at the Vermont and Santa Monica Metro station, it's true that our little planet needs some TLC, and every car we get off the road helps. Plus, you can feel good about helping fund a public works project that makes Los Angeles a better place to live.

REASON #4 - LOOKING AT SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE ROAD In my opinion, this is the best reason to ride the Metro instead of driving. On the bus and train, I can use my eyes to look at anything I please, whether it be a book, a video on my iPhone, or that hot guy across the way. When I drive my car, this is all I see:


Photo by The Infamous Gdub.

The most conspicuous thing about taking the Metro today was how empty it was. My bus had about 10 people on it. The train's seats were mostly full, but it was by no means crowded. And this was rush hour. The whole experience was very easy, quick, convenient, and stress-free.

Go Metro!

MR. JONES: THE BEAVER THAT GOT AROUND

A EULOGY IN TWO PARTS



Some of you may have had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Jones, probably on the road somewhere, traveling between cities, posing by landmarks. Born in November at the Portland Market, he became a traveling companion for iwriteplays and me. This beaver got around. He hit up the Northwest, crossing borders between Oregon and Washington, then flying back to California. More recently, Mr. Jones with his big brown eyes and sassy smile joined us for a cross country drive, making his way through fifteen new states. His upbeat personality and comforting presence got us through long days of driving, and lonely nights in cheap motels. In West Texas, he shared a milkshake with iwriteplays, and he pointed out some scenic landscapes for photos as we drove through the desert.

Mr. Jones was a benevolent beaver, who made friends wherever he went. But while iwriteplays and I considered him a necessary part of every trip from the time we adopted him, he decided once he reached the East coast, it was time to strike out on his own. So as we rushed to catch a train from Stamford, CT into NYC, he rolled himself out of the car, and hid nearby until we were gone. From that point on, I can only hypothesize his moves, but I assume he made his way to the woods, sought out some well maintained beavers, and began a whole new adventure for himself. I fully expect to see a spike in the New England beaver population next season.

Goodbye, Mr. Jones. You were a great companion, but I respect your need for more space and your fear of spending further months stuck in one place until your friends decide travel again. Good luck in your new adventures. We wish you the best.

-Panda

---

Panda is being a bit too generous in her description of our last night with Mr. Jones. I am wracked with guilt, and I have a confession to make. I killed Mr. Jones.

It wasn't intentional. He was sitting on my lap, and we were so late for the train! He must have slipped out of the car when I rushed to grab my bag and run to the platform. I didn't mean to leave him. I loved the little guy, after all. It was accidental beaverslaughter, or beavercide in the third degree, at best.

In an attempt to atone for my crime, I have compiled a little photo essay from his travels. (Imagine Sarah MacLachlan's "I Will Remember You" playing in the background.) One thing we can all agree on: this beaver got around!


Mr Jones in West Texas, which is certainly no country for old beavers.


Drinking milkshakes in West Texas.


On top of the Space Needle in Seattle, Mt. Rainer in the background.


Having a latte at the original Starbucks.


Taking over Multnomah Falls in Oregon.


Driving through the bayou.


Mr. Jones and me, look into the future...

Rest in peace, little guy.

Congrats, Cohens!

In honor of No Country for Old Men and all its shiny new Oscar statuettes:



(At the corner of Rampart and Temple in Los Angeles.)

POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNAGE

Apparently they don't bother with being politically correct in the desert:



I'm sure they do good work, but someone ought to forward them the memo that people don't like being called "crippled" anymore.

And a preemptory response to any criticism for stopping and taking this picture: a) it was all Mr. N's fault, and b) if the sign said "foundation for the developmentally disabled" we wouldn't have stopped.

OUT AND ABOUT

OR, "WHY I LOVE LOS ANGELES THIS WEEKEND"

K and I had hoped to attend a party in honor of the "Y: The Last Man" comic books at Meltdown Comics on Friday evening, but realized our chances of getting in were close to nil. We were a bit disappointed because, in addition to the authors Brian Vaughn and Pia Guerra being in attendance, the keynote speaker was Joss Whedon, of Buffy and Angel fame. I love Joss Whedon. Really. I do. Even more than Lukas Haas. But we had no tickets and couldn't wait in line all day for a chance "standing room only" ticket (damn those jobs!), so we decided to throw in the towel and just meet up for drinks later on.

My brother, Jeff arrived in town on Friday night, and I decided to show him the town. We went to Elf Cafe in my lovely neighborhood, Echo Park, and had the most fabulous vegetarian meal you can imagine. Everything was delicious, especially the saffron pudding with orange-blossom syrup and pistachios:



We then went to meet up with K, Mr. N, and some other folks at Coach & Horses in Hollywood. Jeff and I got in with no problems, but about five minutes after we arrived, I got a call from K saying she was stuck outside because there was a line to get in. K and Mr. N had never seen a line at C&H, and they are regulars, so this was a very strange ocurrence. I poked my head outside to pow-wow with them, and K pointed out that Brian Vaughn was standing about five feet from us. Well, that's weird, we think. He must have come here after the party. I headed back inside, and soon got a text from K that read:

Dude! Joss Whedon is out here!

Then, as if on cue, Brian Vaughn and Joss Whedon enter the bar. I was giddy. My brother found this amusing. Not much later, K and Mr. N were allowed in, and we discussed the strange serendipity of the situation. Then Joss Whedon walked by and I gathered all my courage and asked for a photo with him. He was very nice about it! I would post it on here, but I am vain and I think I look less-than-awesome in the photo, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.

We played some touchy porn and successfully got the jukebox to play our songs before closing time. It was great. Then we went home and slept.

The next day, I met my friend Steve at Intelligentsia in Silverlake. They have the best lattes in L.A., and you can quote me on that. Just look:



I lent him my sewing machine and we talked about his website and people who have lame boyfriends. Then, I took Jeff to Scoops, where we had the following flavors of ice cream: earl grey and lemongrass; brie and artichoke; and olive oil and vanilla sea salt. It was delicious. Walking around with our ice cream, Jeff and I discovered this cool mural off Melrose:



Back at home, I cut Jeff's hair on my patio. Did I mention that it was about 80 degrees in L.A. this weekend? It was ridiculously gorgeous.

With newly-short hair, Jeff and I went to meet Amanda at the Chinese New Year Celebration in Chinatown. And, yes, I did at some point say, "forget it, Jeff, it's Chinatown." I was the only one who thought it was funny. We arrived in time to catch the end of the parade where they set off more firecrackers than you've ever seen in your life all at once. Apparently dragons like firecrackers, observe:



We were getting pelted with the exploded casings and it was louder than a jet engine, but it was good times. Then Jeff and Amanda went into the bouncy castle and realized they were too old when they were tired after a mere five minutes of jumping. Then we saw some cool Chinese acrobats. Then we left to walk back to Amanda's car.

Walking through downtown L.A., I came across this one-stop shop for all your marital needs:



There were actually people in there with wedding dresses on, waiting to walk down the aisle. I didn't see any couples preparing for divorce, but Amanda suggested they should walk backwards down the aisle to make it official.

Jeff popped in to a Ritmo Latino store to look for some music and I found the Bill Clinton book, seemingly miscategorized:



Or was it?

Then we went to the Universal Citywalk, 'cause as an NBC employee I could a) park for free in my work garage and b) get discounts at all kinds of restaurants and bars. We ate, saw Juno, then went home and slept.

It was one of those weekends that reminds me why I love Los Angeles so much. There's a never-ending supply of stuff to do, places to go, and people to see. All that and it's 80 degrees in February.

Days 5 and 6: Pico and the Sundance Kid

My last two days at Sundance were so action-packed that I didn't get a chance to blog at all. I started this entry while sitting in the Salt Lake City airport waiting for my (inevitably delayed) flight to LAX. I then arrived back to L.A. and suddenly "real life" wanted me back. I had to work. I had to unpack. I had to pay attention to my cats. I had to answer all the emails I had put off reading. And I didn't get a chance to blog until now.

I suppose I failed my pledge to blog daily, but I hope you can cut me a little slack. I did see a lot of celebrities in my last day, so that should make up for it a bit. Right? Okay, lets get straight to it.

Day 5: The Best Day

I was awake before dawn on Tuesday. I was determined to get into a screening of Choke before I left, and my only opportunity was to waitlist for an 8:30 a.m. screening at the Racquet Club. This meant getting there around 6:30, which is a half hour before the shuttles begin running. It was a slight problem.

I had considered walking the mile between the Yarrow Hotel and the venue, thinking a little exercise and fresh air would help keep me awake. But when I looked up the current temperature on my iPhone—0° F— and saw that the sun was still below the horizon, I called a cab. It was well worth the $5, as I still had plenty of time to freeze my ass off.

Arriving so early meant that I was twelfth in line, which pretty much guaranteed me a ticket. However, the waiting-list tent had apparently run out of propane for the heating system, and the temperature inside was exactly the same as outside (reports varied from -3° to 2° F), with the added bonus of large fans blowing cold air through the tent. It was so cold that my line-mate, Jeff, had frost on his beard:



After getting our waitlist numbers, many of us attempted to get some coffee from the kindly woman at the Racquet Club concessions stand. However, her bottled water had frozen solid overnight, and this had delayed the making of any warm beverages. After about 20 minutes I finally got some weak coffee, which temporarily warmed my fingertips and esophagus, but was generally unsatisfying. We were finally let into the theatre after nearly two hours of waiting in the frigid tent (which was definitely worse than my U23D waitlist experience, if you'll believe it) and proceeded to get the tingly thawing-of-extremities feeling for the entire length of the film.

Thankfully, Choke was hilarious. Sam Rockwell gives a brilliant comic performance, as usual. The filmmaking was very snappy, and though not as innovative as Fight Club, it certainly lived up to the Chuck Palahniuk aesthetic.

And Chuck Palahniuk was there! Look!



(The picture sucks, I know. But it's proof, isn't it?)

I left Choke during the Q&A so I could go waitlist for A Complete History of My Sexual Failures at the Holiday Theatre.



When I got to the waitlist tent, I was reminded how different Sundance is on a weekday. During opening weekend, waitlist lines spill out of the tents, people scalp tickets for exorbitant prices, and your chances of getting in to a popular film are pretty slim unless you show up three hours early.

On Tuesday, however, the wait-list tent was a ghost town. I ended up with #8 in the waitlist, so I got into the movie and even snagged myself a good seat!

A Complete History of My Sexual Failures turned out to be my favorite film from Sundance. It's a British documentary by Chris Waitt where he decides to interview all his ex-girlfriends to find out why he keeps getting dumped. The premise is kind of "High Fidelity," but it evolves into Waitt's hilarious and sad journey to try and figure out what's gone wrong in his life up to this point. It's shockingly personal and leaves Waitt naked (both emotionally and physically) in front of the camera in ways I haven't seen before. It's not a perfect movie, but it was so surprising, genuine, and laugh-out-loud hilarious that it wins my very prestigious award:



I must also mention that this was the best Q&A I have been to at any Sundance. Because the film is so personal, we all felt like we knew Chris Waitt, and thus the audience asked him some questions you wouldn't feel right asking Ben Kinglsey or Al Gore. For example: "Are you still taking Viagra?"

After the Q&A, I headed straight to Main Street to join the USC Alumni party. I had failed to successfully RSVP, so I had to show my USC student ID at the door before they'd let me in! (Thank goodness I still keep that one in my wallet.) At the soiree, I ran into my new USC friends I had met the night of Paranormal Activity. I also ran into an old friend from my graduate program (Master of Professional Writing, fyi) who was at Sundance with a fancy press pass. Some people have all the luck...

After three drinks and lots of good conversation, I headed over to the Library to see The Black List with my dad and stepmom. The movie is just a series of head-and-shoulders interviews with 20 prominent African-Americans including Toni Morrison, Sean Combs, Colin Powell, Suzan-Lori Parks, and Chris Rock. Elvis Mitchell was behind the camera interviewing each person, but you never see or hear him.



This could have been horribly boring. Instead, it had me sitting on the edge of my seat. The interviews were so well edited, the subjects so eloquent, funny, and fascinating, that I could have sat through 20 more of them without getting tired. It's apparently sold to HBO, so keep an eye out for it. It's a real gem.

After the movie, I headed back to Main Street to meet up with the USC people. I had a few drinks and enjoyed the company of people my own age for a bit (sorry, dad, you know I love ya). Then I returned home to get my requisite four hours of sleep to recharge for my final day at Sundance.


Day 6: The Last Day

Waking up to see Sugar at 8:30 a.m. at the Racquet Club was a tad painful after five days of sleep deprivation. The one saving grace was that we had tickets to screenings all day, so we wouldn't have to waitlist. I was excited about Sugar, because it was directed by the same people who did Half Nelson, a movie I liked quite a bit. This movie is about a young Dominican baseball player trying to make it to the American big leagues. However, the pacing was a bit slow for my taste, and I found myself nodding off more than once. This means I can't really give it a valid review, but I can say I was disappointed.

We stayed for the Q&A afterwards, where people were generally impressed by the accuracy of the baseball scenes. I guess Sugar has got that going for it. I wouldn't know.

We then headed straight to the Library to see Death In Love. This, without a doubt, is the most provocative movie I've seen at Sundance. That's not to say I liked it. I don't think I did. But I've never had as extensive a discussion about a film at Sundance as I did with this one. The basic story is about a 40 year-old guy, played by Josh Lucas, who has major love and trust issues. But the crux of the story is about his mother, who as a young Jewish girl became the lover of a brutal Nazi doctor who performed medical experiments on concentration camp victims. The movie is all about violence and sex and how they're connected.

This movie brought out the vigilant feminist in me. The opening sequence was a montage of sex scenes, usually with women screaming in ecstasy, cut in with very graphic and bloody scenes of surgery and medical experimentation. Over all these scenes, the main character is reciting this very stilted monologue about how being old is horrible, 'cause when you sleep with young women you're jealous of their youth, and when you sleep with old women, well, they seem old. Clearly, nobody wants to sleep with old women, right? I found the movie's attitude toward women offensive and a little scary. The sexualizing of violence against women is so commonplace it's become passe. This poster is a good example of what I'm talking about:



Ooh! Sexy lady with scary demon about to devour her! Are we supposed to be scared or turned on?

Now, juxtaposing sex and violence isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I understand that it's a valid topic for discussion. But altogether, I found this movie condescending and, overall, a bit of a mess. There were too many stories to tell, and thus they all got short shrift. I do have to say that Lukas Haas did an amazing job as Josh Lucas' emotionally-unstable brother. Plus, I've had crush on Lukas Haas since I was a teenager, so I was excited to see him at the Q&A.



Did you just see me go straight from uber-feminist to giggling schoolgirl in one sentence? That's called being flexible.

After Death In Love, we all went to lunch and then spent an hour talking about the movie some more. Then we went off to see A Raisin in the Sun at the Eccles. Unbeknownst to us, this was the movie's world premiere, and thus all of its famous cast was at the screening. I was sitting about fifteen seats away from Sean Combs (a.k.a. P Diddy, Puff Daddy, you know...) and John Stamos (I had to refrain from yelling "uncle Jesse!" at him). Audra MacDonald was also there. She's awesome. And I don't say that just because she's also from Fresno. (Her dad was my high school principal. Yup.) Rent Wit and you'll see what I'm talking about.

The movie was just superb. The screenwriter had adapted the stage play ever-so-slightly, so it kept the integrity of Lorraine Hansberry's 1959 original without it seeming too stage-y. It was just entertaining, well-acted, and an overall good movie.

Of course, my camera battery had died at the last minute, so all I have is this video of Diddy as proof that we were in the same room:



After the Q&A, we headed straight back to the hotel to catch our shuttle back to the SLC airport. And that was the end of Sundance for me!

And I'll end with my obligatory Celebrity Sightings List:

• Chuck Palahniuk (he's a celeb to me, okay?)


• Sean "P Diddy" Combs


• Audra MacDonald


• Felicia Rashod


• John Stamos


• Lukas Haas


• Jacqueline Bissette


• Josh Lucas

POLITICS AND FOOTBALL

As I was watching a rerun of The Simpsons on Fox tonight, I saw this:



Of course, I had to pause and get a picture. It was too good. The promo was preceded by "Tomorrow, only on Fox! America's two favorite pastimes..."

Only on Fox, indeed.

And, yes, I will be posting my final Sundance blog soon, I swear. I'm a big procrastinator, I know. I promise it'll be good---here's a little tidbit to keep up your interest: I was sitting 10 seats away from Sean "P. Diddy" Combs at my last screening.

Don't forget to vote on Tuesday!

Day 4: Pico and the Sundance Kid

Doc Day

This should be a short post because I'm trying to get to bed soon to catch an 8:30 a.m. screening of Choke tomorrow morning. Plus, I didn't see any celebrities or take any good pictures, But I did see some good films! Lets get right to it, shall we?

Okay, so everything wasn't fantastic today. We had tickets to a screening of Ballast at the Eccles, but walked out after 30 minutes. Yes, I know. It's horrible. The director was sitting really close to us, too. But the combination of bleak subject matter (suicides, poverty, the American South) and nearly incomprehensible dialogue made this film impossible to sit through. Or I thought so, at least. We probably could have given it more time, but we weren't in the mood.

We then went back to the hotel and ate a bit before heading off to see Nerahkoon (The Betrayal) at the Library. Before the feature, they showed a documentary short called My Olympic Summer which was possibly the best short I've seen at the festival so far. It was moving, beautiful to watch, and just so well composed. The feature was also excellent. Filmed over the course of 20 years, it chronicled the effects of war and exile on a Laotian family. Great, moving stuff.

I had to duck out of the Q&A early to try and make it to the Documentary Shorts program over at Prospector Square. Despite bad rush-hour traffic (yes, Pico readers, they do have traffic in Utah occasionally), I made it in time to get a good seat. This shorts program was hands-down the best yet, with three strikingly good films that stood out among the rest. The first was Kids + Money, which consisted entirely of interviews with Los Angeles teenagers on the topic of money. The filmmaker found a great cross-section of L.A. in these kids, and the interviews are hilarious, shocking, and sometimes just sad. It will apparently be on HBO at some point, so keep an eye out. The other doc was called Pilgrimage.



The film is about the annual pilgrimage to the Manzanar Concentration Camp in California. Here's a trailer:



The short film Corona was an eye-opener, if I do say so myself. It's about a beauty pageant held in the largest female prison in Colombia. Each cell block competes, and it's interesting to see convicted murderers, guerillas, and thieves vie so adamantly for the crown. Read more about it on the Sundance site.

Dad and Yvonne stayed for the Q&A at Nerahkoon, so they missed the documentary shorts and went to see Traces of the Trade, about a Rhode Island family descended from slave traders. They both said it was excellent, and dad even got interviewed by PBS afterwards. He's famous now.

I was hoping to squeeze in another screening tonight, but instead I thought I'd eat a leisurely dinner and catch some Zs. Plus, check out my hands:



Each of those marks is a reentry stamp for a screening. When I've racked up that many, I think it's okay to call it a night.

On that note, I'd like to close with my daily celeb sightings list...

• Nobody
• Nadie
• Niemand
• Nessuno

Oh well, who needs celebrities, anyway? Not me!

Day 3: Pico and the Sundance Kid

Part 1: U2 Odyssey

Last time I left you, dear readers, I was waiting to see if I would get in to the midnight screening of "U23D" at the Eccles Theatre. I had just endured two hours of 19-degree weather, and I was determined to get inside the theatre.

After blogging, I took the shuttle back to the theatre to take my coveted #1 place in line.



As you can see, I was prepared. I was also envied. Take a look at the crowd hoping to get into the screening:



And that's about half of the people waiting—the lucky half, since the others were suffering outside in the cold.

Just before they started letting the ticketed folks in, a kind soul came up and gave me a hard ticket for the same $10 I would have paid to get in on the waitlist. So I trudged outside and joined the ticket-holders line, which gave me a slightly better advantage of getting a good seat.

I purposefully sat near the podium because I knew U2 was in the building. I also knew any celebrities to be seen would be in that vicinity. Apparently Oprah and Al Gore had attended the 9:45 show, so I was holding out for a good sighting. I didn't see Oprah, but tell me if you can find Glenn Close in this picture:



For the 3-d effects, you had to don some really sexy glasses:



The director of Sundance personally threatened us all with bodily harm if we didn't return the glasses at the end of the screening, or else I would have taken them home and worn them on a daily basis.

And, of course, U2 was there! (Well, U2 minus the drummer, Larry.) Check this out:



And a video of their comments before the film:



(My new friend Marsha also posted a video of their comments before the 9:45 show, if you're interested.)

And, hey, they actually showed the movie at the end of it all! Howdya like that? The movie is just 3-d footage of a 2006 concert in Buenos Aires, but it's cut together very well and the 3-d effects are just plain cool. It alternately feels like you're at the concert and that you're on stage with U2... and that you're 40-feet tall. They play all the good standbys: "One," "Sunday Bloody Sunday," "Where the Streets Have No Name," "With or Without You." You get the gist. If you're a huge U2 fan, this is a must-see. Luckily, it should be getting limited release on January 23, so go buy your tickets now!

Part 2: The Morning After

Freezing your ass off for hours and then watching a virtual U2 concert until 3 a.m. does not make a body good. Especially the next morning, when you have tickets to the 9:15 Shorts II program. I was only able to roll off my aerobed out of a sense of obligation. Obligation to my dad and Yvonne, who were off seeing another screening and had entrusted me to sell their two tickets to waitlisters. Obligation to you, my blog readers, to not slack off and try and see as many films as possible. And Obligation to myself to not be a lazy bum.

Luckily, the shorts program was quite good. I met fellow Sundance blogger Dana at the screening, and we discussed previous Sundance hits and misses. I definitely recommend the Danish short "Dennis" (about a weightlifter with a some Freudian issues) and "Aquarium" (about a fish-obsessed kid looking for love) in the "normal filmmaking" category. This shorts program also had two animated films that both were a bit explicit, but both hilarious. If you're not a prude or easily offended by sexual material, go check out "Teat Beat of Sex." It's amazingly innovative.

"Bend It" won my daily prize of "what were the programmers thinking?!?" The whole film was of two gender-ambiguous women dancing to an eponymous song. Then it was over. Performance art? Sure. Sundance-worthy short film? I think not. Steve, keep your chin up. If stuff like "Bend It" can make it to Sundance, your films surely can. You just have to pray to the right programming gods...

After the shorts, I joined dad and Yvonne for lunch and they told me that Megane, the film I had opted to skip, was the best thing they had seen so far. Dad said it was like a symphony. Oh well.

After lunch, we went to use our tickets for the 1pm screening of Yasukuni. It was a documentary about a controversial shrine for war heroes in Japan. Or so I gathered. The combination of 4 hours' sleep, reading subtitles, and the low-key soundtrack put me straight to sleep for most of the film. Asking dad and Yvonne after the screening, I gathered it wasn't the most well-made film, anyway, so my snoozing wasn't totally uncalled for. The consensus seems to be that the director took a very interesting topic and made it uninteresting through amateurish filmmaking. Oh well.

I then went and took a nap in the room before joining the team for Shorts Program V at the Prospector Theatre. We had tickets, which was a good thing since it was a completely full screening. I couldn't figure out why there was such an unusual demand for a shorts program until the programmer introduced Isabella Rossellini as one of the directors. She made a series of shorts intended for web/mobile called "Green Porno," in which she described the sexual behaviors of various insects. They were hilarious. Keep an eye out for them. The others were good, too, but nothing sticks out in my mind quite as much as the insect porn. Silly me.

I ducked out of the Q&A for the shorts to try and catch a 9:45 screening of The Wave at the Holiday Theatre. When I arrived, I got #74 in the wait list (for a theatre that seats 156), so I decided to head over to the Library to get an early start on the Great Buck Howard screening. However, a reliable-looking volunteer at the Library informed me that he didn't like the movie, and he thought my time might be better spent elsewhere. I thanked him and headed back to the Holiday to try my luck at The Wave.

In line for The Wave, I got to talking with the small group of other hopeless waitlisters nearby. In due time, we realized that we all were USC students or alumni, and we bonded over our Trojan pride. The Wave was sold out way before our lousy numbers, so we got to talking about a different plan of attack. We contemplated seeing Strangers at midnight, but then someone whipped out a Slamdance schedule and saw that the movie Paranormal Activity was about to get started on Main Street. I tagged along with my new USC buddies, and through the rush line I was able to get in to my very first Slamdance screening. It was a completely different feel—smaller theatre, fewer people, more accessible. I could get used to this.



The film was basically "Blair Witch Project" indoors. And I say this with the utmost of respect, because Paranormal Activity scared the CRAP out of me. It was about a young couple trying to document the weird hauntings they experience in their San Diego home. As the hauntings intensify, we get to see everything from a home-video perspective. It was creepy. It was great. I'm still kind of freaked out, so it must have been a good scary movie. Here's a preview:




I then walked down Main Street with an ever-growing group of USC people trying to find somewhere to grab a drink. We needed to calm our nerves, and beer sounded like the right medicine. However, all the bars either were invite-only or had outrageous covers, so we simply walked around in the snow for a bit. Just as we were commenting on how slippery the sidewalks were, we watched a girl in high-heeled boots bite it HARD on the pavement. There was a broken cell phone and blood involved. This didn't help us feel calmer. After a while, we realized the bars were closing and hailed a taxi home.

And now I'm going to bed. I don't have a screening until noon tomorrow, so I can sleep in and, hopefully, not fall asleep in a movie theatre. And now, my short-but-sweet Celebrity-Sightings List!

• Bono, for real


• The Edge, again


• Adam Clayton


• Glenn Close


• Isabella Rossellini

Day 2: Pico and the Sundance Kid

Well, folks, it hasn't been the most productive day at Sundance. So far, I've only been to one screening today, but I'm hoping to get into a midnight screening of "U2 3D" in an hour. I just waited outside in the 19-degree weather for two hours to see this movie, so it better be worth it. Check back tomorrow for a review.

This morning, I decided to skip the 8:30 a.m. screening of "Secrecy" in favor of sleep, which I'm now very happy about since I'm going to be up until 2 a.m. watching a three-dimensional U2 concert at the Eccles Theatre.

I saw Shorts Program I at 1 p.m. today at the Holiday Village Theatre. We had 2 tickets among the three of us, so I got in the wait list at 11 a.m. and was given #15, which was pretty solid. During my 90-minute break between getting my number and having to return to line, I ate an enormous lunch at the Chinese buffet and chilled. Dad and Yvonne went in with their tickets and saved me a seat next to them, and I got in with plenty of time to spare.

Steve, you wanted to know if any of the shorts were worse than Helmet. In the Shorts I program, I can give you an undeniable "yes" to that question. Let me first mention the two good shorts. The first film, "Chief," was excellent.



The last film, "A Relationship in Four Days," was pretty good. Here's the trailer:



The rest ranged from just-okay to are-you-freakin'-kidding-me? There was one film called "Motion Studies" that was literally just a guy running as fast as he can in full armor until he falls down. It lasted approximately 30 seconds. It would make a funny YouTube video, but a Sundance short? Give me a break.

I could go on about my distaste for a number of the shorts, but I'm trying to stay positive and I do have to run to catch the U2 movie.

I also waited in line for "I.O.U.S.A" but didn't get in. Such is Sundance on the opening weekend. Oh well.

On that note, here's my sad list of celeb sightings for today:

-The Edge
-Oh, and the back of Bono's head

At least those are good ones. Hopefully I can rack up some more at this next screening!

Day 1: Pico and the Sundance Kid

According to weather.com it's currently 11° F in Park City but it feels like 0° F with the wind chill. That's nearly 50° lower than Los Angeles, but I'm braving the cold to watch independent film and hobnob with celebrities! Poor me!

(Quick sidenote: being a knitter comes in handy in this absolutely frigid weather. Sundance may be the only place I get to wear all my hand-knit garments.)

I was able to fit in four screenings today. Let me tell you a bit about them:

Shorts Program III

(8:30 a.m. - Library Theatre - had tickets, no waiting in line necessary)

We met the shorts programmer on the bus to this screening, and she informed us that over 4000 films were submitted this year. That's a hell of a lot of films. Of course, my first thought was "Well, they better be damn good." Luckily, they were all pretty well done. Only one film was a bit disappointing in the bunch. It was called "Welcome" that starred Winona Ryder and was written and directed by Kirsten Dunst. Honestly, the short was decent, but I can guarantee that if those names weren't attached there's no way it would have been picked for the festival, so that really rubs me the wrong way.

I highly recommend the following shorts: "Spider," "Crossbow," and "Sikumi." I believe they'll be available on iTunes soon. When they are, I'll post a link.

Slingshot Hip Hop

(11:30 a.m. - Prospector Square Theatre - had tickets)

In the interest of full disclosure, I need to tell you that I'm friends with Nizar Wattad, a.k.a. Ragtop whose album helped fund this film.

Conflict of interest aside, this was still a great documentary about Palestinian rappers. The film was engaging, exciting, and left you hopeful for peace. That and rap is fun to dance to.

A bunch of the hip hop artists featured in the film were at the screening. They performed for us, and I got some fuzzy video of it:



(There are 3 more videos on my youtube page if you're interested. Don't be distracted by the silly cat videos.)

I got me a picture with a bunch of the rappers, too.



American Soldier, a.k.a. The Recruiter

(2:30 p.m. - Prospector Square Theatre - wait list #56)

This movie has many names. Well, just two, but that's more than most movies. In the program, it's listed as "American Solider," but the director of programming announced that the name had been changed to "The Recruiter" before the screening began. If anyone wants to know my two cents, I think "American Soldier" was better. Anywho...

This was a documentary about Sergeant First Class Clay Usie, one of most successful Army recruiters in America. It follows him and four recruits in Houma, Lousiana as they graduate from high school, go through basic training, and get deployed to Iraq. It was undeniably disturbing to watch pimply-faced 17 and 18 year-olds enlist in the U.S. Army. It was very sad to listen to the parents discuss the possibility of their children dying in the war. All in all, a good film.

Transsiberian

(6:15 p.m. - Eccles Theatre - wait list #136 then #86)

We went to wait list for Transsiberian, a film in the premiere category that starred Woody Harrelson, Ben Kingsley, Emily Mortimer, and others. We arrived as they were giving out the wait list numbers, and we scored numbers 136-138. This wasn't very promising. After getting our numbers, we had 90 minutes to kill before having to get back in line, so I went back to the hotel and my dad and stepmom decided to head to Main Street.

Apparently, they were selling cool electric motorcycles on Main Street and my dad got all caught up checking out all their zero-emissions glory. They lost track of time, and I found myself alone in the wait-list line at the Eccles. After calling them, it became clear that they wouldn't make it back in time, so I decided to see the movie alone. Chatting up my fellow line-waiters, I found out that someone had an extra wait list number and since I was the only person flying solo, I got to jump ahead in line to #86. Then a guy came by trying to sell a single ticket, so I thought I'd buy it from him until I discovered he wanted to charge $50. Fifty bucks! Wait list tickets are $10. I declined, and got in to the screening from the wait list with no problems. Ha! Take that, Sundance ticket scalper!

Oh yeah, the film. It was great, a real nail-biter. The director, Brad Anderson, pulled off the suspense very well. Woody Harrelson was pretty hilarious, and Ben Kingsley was amazing, as usual. Emily Mortimer also pulled off a brilliant performance.

Here's a very bad picture of the director and Ben Kingsley:



And I'll end today's post with my....
Daily Celebrity-Sighting List

• Ben Kingsley


• Emily Mortimer


• Kate Mara


• Woody Harrelson


• Eduardo Noriega


• David Blue


• Magic Johnson (in the Burbank airport... kind of counts!)