So, we've discovered that N's brother, once known to the world as Baloney, has an uncanny ability--and has since a small child--to memorize streetscapes in his head and permanently etch them into his neurological pathways. Kinda like Rainman, except he doesn't particularly care for underwear. He's better than Mapquest, OnStar, and that asshole Tom Tom. He has since been renamed Baloogle by his lovely girlfriend who is somehow able to see past the chonies thing and embrace his more redeeming qualities. Like being a veritable Thomas Guide-Idiot Savant.

Last week, K was in the middle of Koreatown and had to get to Phillipe's, but kept getting turned around. She called Baloogle, and he was able to determine K's exact location in .3 seconds, and give her detailed, easy directions in an instant. Granted, this may seem like no big deal given the close proximity of these locations, but we've utilized his powers in places as far and wide as the Inland Empire, the Westside, Eastside, Pasadena, Southbay and the never-ending story that is the San Fernando Valley. Before we nominate him to the Justice League, we need to test out his powers, and we've enlisted you, loyal Pico readers, to help.

So far, we think his powers are limited to places he's been, even if only once, so if you live in Memphis, this may not work, but all of SoCal, including San Diego, is fair game.

Get lost, and give him a call: 909-702-6216. Report back here with your findings.


The Pico Team

1 comment:

David said...

I nominate Baloogle for the Justice League. A little while back, the Baloogle navigated me through Skid Row to reach a secret sushi location in Downtown Los Angeles. Not only did Baloogle know where it was, he also knew the wrong turns I had made (as if he knew what the average person not possessing his skills would do).