11.25.2007

GUIDE TO ENTERTAINING A NORTHERN IRISHMAN IN LA - VOL. II

1. Take him to watch the slide shows of various Angelenos (with varying degrees of sanity). Hit up Scoops for ice cream goodness. Drink more Rum & Cokes than necessary.

2. Go to the Arclight for a screening of No Country for Old Men, then gather the troops for a trip to Tom Bergins where mayhem ensues. Finish the night with a stop at Yukon Mining Co., attempt to not fall asleep in the bathroom.

3. Sunday soccer day!! Start at Hollywood High for a dismal showing by the Urban Achievers, followed by a drive to LMU to watch University of Portland wipe the field with their ass.

4. Dine at Hamburger Mary's during some kind of ridiculous cocktail special where cosmos are practically free. Have the waiter check him out so he's quite sure he's in West Hollywood. Followed by a late night whiskey binge thereby solidifying your status of office rock star for once again making it to work on time.

5. Take him to Seven Grand so he can hustle poor defenseless Americans. After all it's only physics.

6. Make him walk Pico Blvd.

7. Attempt Griffith Observatory on the foggiest night possible. Grab dinner at M Cafe de Chaya and treat him to his first taste of Pinkberry.

8. As no trip is complete without a visit to Coach & Horses, grab Indian food next door and commence whiskey drinking. Toss a pillow in the bathroom as that is where he may want to catch a few winks.
9. Welcome an Englishman to the entourage and start with Tuesday Porn Star karaoke at Sardos!! Enough said.

10. Drive Mulholland while listening to Electrolite, complete with useless commentary about the history of Runyon Canyon and where Robbie Williams lives.

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